


Love Before

by oneawkwardcookie



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Ficlet, If you don't want to think about Buck's childhood and abandonment issues, Love Confessions, M/M, Mention of Abby Clark, Mention of Doug Kendall, Mention of Shannon Diaz, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Pillow Talk, just alluded to, nothing explicitly talked about, or about Shannon and Eddie, then maybe don't read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie
Summary: Buck and Eddie reminisce on the past and realise just what love is.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Love Before

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be the first to say that Shannon Diaz deserved better, so this is no disrespect to her (or to Abby Clark for that matter), however [ I'm not convinced that Eddie loved Shannon, at least not as a wife.](https://oneawkwardcookie.tumblr.com/post/617590536065384448/eddies-feelings-for-shannon)
> 
> I’m incapable of actually having them say the words “I love you” because reasons. Let's just pretend it's because Eddie is a man of actions not words, and Buck doesn't want to pressure Eddie.

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone before.”

Buck forgets how to breathe for a second, feeling the enormity of the statement that was mumbled into his chest. It takes a thumb brushing his side for him to unfreeze, but his mind is still caught in what it means, for them.

Eddie places a soft kiss to his chest, head still pressed under Buck’s chin, and Buck brings a hand up to brush through Eddie’s hair, finding comfort in caressing the growing locks.

“As kids, you don’t know what it means. Then Shannon –” Buck’s hand leaves his hair and rubs soothingly at his back, leaving goose bumps in their wake but helping Eddie to take a breath and carry on spilling his heart out.

“Things were nice and normal and fun sometimes, but it wasn’t – enough.” Buck blinks away the tears that threaten to drip onto Eddie’s head, both hands gripping Eddie hard, as though they could pull him any closer. “I’ve never felt love like, like trusting someone and feeling secure and warm and having a home.”

“I don’t think I have either.”

From where he’s pressed hard against Buck’s front, Eddie can only dip a gentle kiss into the hollow of Buck’s throat.

“No one taught me what it meant, what it meant for me.” Buck ponders on his loveless parents, and the examples he’d grown up with, on Doug and how people just left and hurt him. “I thought Abby was it, but I just wanted something that felt real, someone to make me feel like I was better than I ever thought I could be,” he presses a kiss to Eddie’s forehead, “A home.”

“So …” Eddie props up his head, eyes searching.

“Yes,” he exhales into Eddie’s mouth.

“Yes.” Eddie kisses the word back into him, before lying back to hear the thrumming through Buck’s chest.

**Author's Note:**

> I always have music running in the background as I write, but the following songs that came up seemed somehow apt:
> 
>   * [Troye Sivan - Bloom](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxmtHVSVjdo/)
>   * [ Florence + the Machine - Dog Days are Over ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTDCr_EQ7tg/) \- _happiness hit like a train on the track_
> 



End file.
